"Oh Calamity!"

Bored of You, Bored of my Personality

Bored of you and bored of my personality,
Which in all fairness has let us both down.

Where, once upon a time I used to smile at your angst filled cutting remarks
Now my personality chooses makes issue of them.
Oh she’s such a bitch!
She won’t let you win with your hideous moaning anymore,
I’ve tried telling her, but no...
Regardless, you still attempt to make my life interesting though the tedium of precipitous moaning- oh how you hate the train ride to work, oh God how you hate the price of everything you can’t afford,
And oh my, how you hate the silk duvet, too noisy when I turn from sleepless nights...
You moan, I try and retain the onset of love
But,
It appears-
I’m bored of you and bored of my personality

Which has surprised me yet again,
By telling you in unfamiliar tones
To strap on a pair,
Shut the fuck up,
Or get the fuck out.

Yes,
It’s safe to say,
My personality has let us both down.

© Marjorie Razorblade

Achievement

Be proud to achieve the unattainable goal:

That which people say cannot be achieved; let that push you, spur you forward, let it push you around, force you forward
Be pushed around, if you want it

I recommend striving for something which will always elude you; that four bedroom house with conservatory, just on the outskirts of Upminster;
Oh la de fucking da!
Or that car which has this years colour
Vomit green paintwork, pink spoilers, purple trim
Its kitsch
Oh you hate it now, but just wait until its on Top Gear.
If Clarkson tell you to love it
You’ll love it.

Insidiously, covet your bosses’ job, that way you’ll always keep them exactly where you can see them, very cloak and dagger I know but let’s face it, the abused always kick downwards.

The sword of Damocles hovers above; you in pole position for an extra 4 days annual leave, and peer pressure you can point backwards. They can make YOUR coffee.

But will they stir it with their finger?

I doubt they will pay you the same courtesy.

Achieve a serene state of mind; see the system for what it really is;
An arrangement of rope’s and pulleys, in unison turning the axle, together greasing the wheels, united in oiling the cogs of the giant machine.
More meat for the Mincer.

Develop a goal,
An aim,
An ambition burning brightly against the blackest of night skies, spiralling downward touching your face with the heavens above holding you in their favourable grip on the precipice of attainment.

In this marker-less maze of lost causes and pointless direction,
My one ambition in life

Is to die.

This way I can always say I achieved something.

(Hey fuck you pal,
I didn’t say this was good advice.)

© Marjorie Razorblade

Worse Case Scenario Number 1

Love beads in one pocket
Vibrator in another
I slipped then tripped
My pockets ripped
And they rolled towards your mother.

© Marjorie Razorblade

Comments: Whoopsie.